Taking the ugly thread and replacing it with gold

Most of you, my readers, know that I have been on a journey of healing for the past few months. My healing hasn’t been just physical healing but inner healing as well. Though there are many things I could share with you, and I will in my next book, today I wanted to share what the Lord revealed to me.  

Again, I desire to be open and honest with my readers. I have often admitted that I don’t have it all together, but the path to freedom the Lord has me on, I hope, would direct you on yours.

This morning, Bob and I started our day at the usual rhythm. However, we began to rush around as his schedule dictated the tempo, and his words became impatient.

Rather than seeing the situation for what it was, he was running behind; I took offense and left the room. I stewed about this particular moment and every impatient word he had spoken as I made the bed.  

Thankfully, Holy Spirit is teaching me how to be aware of my body. I am realizing the emotions that I am experiencing affect my body. 

Right away, I could feel a slight tightness in my breathing, like it was restricted. I quickly recognized I was shallow breathing as I rashly went about my morning ‘chores.’ 

In these scenarios mentioned above, I would typically say: “I give it to you, Lord,” not identifying ‘what’ I was giving Him. So, in reality, I am stuffing the conflict deep inside me.

It would have been so easy for me to fall into that pattern again, moving on, but not really. 

In the past, I would let that little situation fester inside me. Being curt with my words toward Bob or whomever I was taking offense to for hours, sometimes days. Childish, I know.

However, this morning, as challenging as it was, I quieted myself and asked a simple question: Where does this come from, Lord? 

Trust me; many little “squirrel” moments tried to derail my thoughts this morning as I leaned in to listen. But I would speak out loud: No, I will not get sidetracked; I want freedom in this Lord.

Instantly, a memory far from my consciousness became clear in my heart. I saw the younger me, little Georgia, process that particular situation, and I could hear her (my) reasoning for picking up the insubordinate mindset. 

I looked up the definitions of words like impatience, defiance, and offense, which helped me see that allowing these behaviors has distorted my perception of submission.   

Again, Holy Spirit showed me how this defiant mindset has been woven in many areas of my life. And how it has affected my relationships with those close to me, as well as my relationship with the Trinity. 

The inner healing process starts here, where I chose to be still and allow the omniscient (all-knowing) God (El de’ot) to show me how this behavior has been so inner-knitted in my default responses to situations. 

And in these revealed areas of my life, I had to see the individuals that knowingly or unknowingly tangled me in these deceptions. And then forgive them. Not find excuses “why” I forgive them, but to simply forgive them. 

Jesus died on the cross to forgive us our sins. Period.

Romans 3:23-24 (ESV) for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus…  

Once I have forgiven, I turn to look at the Trinity. And I see that I have unknownly had these attitudes toward the Father, King Jesus, and even Holy Spirit. Maybe not as blatantly as I have with those family members I am closest to, but still, this small inferior thinking has caused me to be blinded by how it has hindered me from walking in obedience. 

The next step is to renounce those lies that I had partnered with. 

This takes a moment for me because not everything is plainly written on the wall, so to speak. 

Cutting off the “old Georgia” behavior with my blood-bought scissors, I felt freedom. I then cut the behavior off those individuals I would have genetically passed it on: my children and grandchildren. Exodus 34:7     

Lastly, I act as if I am putting all that we processed in a box and giving it to Him. I ask: what do you have for me in exchange, Lord? 

In my mind, I saw a piece of tattered fabric standing up, and as it stood, I could see many threads being pulled out, each strain coming out from the fabric’s beginning to the end.

One would think the fabric would have fallen apart, but it didn’t because I instantly saw gold threads being weaved in as the old was being pulled out. 

This is a picture of what God has done for me. He took the tattered me, pulled out the ugly threads, and weaved HIS goodness (gold) in me. I went from being a shabby cloth to fine linen. 

We all have behaviors we are not so proud of but habitually do. And once we fall into the ‘old way’ of responding to situations, we feel conviction and ask for forgiveness, only to find ourselves in the situation again. Gosh, I know this vicious cycle. 

Unfortunately, we don’t get total freedom in these things until we see where the root of the behavior comes from. 

But! We find freedom once we see and walk out steps like I mentioned above. It might take a bit to get ourselves out of the rut of behaving like we did in the past, but over time, it will no longer be a part of our DNA.

Pastor Appreciation 2023

Pastor: A minister of the gospel who has the charge of a church and congregation, whose duty is to watch over the “flock” and instruct them in the sacred doctrines of the Christian religion. www.websterdictionary1828.com

I believe pastoring is increasingly difficult as the worldview has infiltrated our way of thinking, and the biblical worldview is deemed prudish or, worse, evil.

I am 58 years old and haven’t had to put a line in the sand (so to speak) publicly. It has been my resolve to live my life based on scripture. However, in the past couple of years, I have had to stop and look in scripture for answers and publicly “speak up” about issues that affect me and my family, neighbors, and even the community I live in.  

I say all this to help us realize that pastoring is not popular. Yes, it is teaching the Gospel of salvation, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. But pastoring is also about teaching us how to use The Word of God as a lantern to navigate the many issues we have in society today. It is about walking in love in every area of our lives, and God is love. And God has things to say about what is going on today. Trendy or not.

Ultimately, pastors teach us about God’s love and His heart is for all people to be redeemed. That is why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ (Jn 3:16). God wants to give back to us what was given up in the Garden (Ge 3) and the Kingdom of God here on Earth (Mt 6:10), which goes against what society has accepted in many areas.

So, Pastoring is a massive task if you ask me. Pastors have an enormous heart for us and future generations. Yet, pastors also have personal lives that they are walking out.

Think about when we set out to make a difference in our world. Letting the light of Christ inside us shine, and we get hit with opposition.

Pastors get hit with opposition as well. They have to go through it more publicly than we do because they are standing in front of us each week, which should remind us to lift our pastors (and family) in prayer daily.

So today, October 8th, I want to thank all the pastors who have been a part of my growth; I want you to know that I appreciate each of you. And you are greatly loved. 

Have I been abiding?

Psalm 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 91:2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Refuge: Shelter or a place that protects from danger, distress, or calamity; a stronghold that protects by its strength; or a sanctuary that secures safety by its sacredness; any place inaccessible to an enemy.

How often have we recited Psalm 91, declaring it protection over our family and homes? My husband and I have declared it over our house but haven’t felt that protection lately.   

One morning this past week, I was reiterating the declaration based on Psalm 91:1-16

When our household abides under the shadow of El Shaddai, we are hidden under the strength of the most High God.

He’s the hope that holds my household and the stronghold for us. He’s the only God for us and our great confidence.

He will rescue this household from every hidden trap of the enemy. He will protect us from false accusations and any deadly curse.

Stopping here, I thought, I don’t feel that protection from accusations, Lord.

Suddenly, that first line was highlighted to me: when our household abides. I asked myself, have I been abiding? Thinking that I had, I decided to look up the scripture in the King James Version. Then, I look up the action words in this scripture.

Psalm 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Dwelleth/dwell: to abide as a permanent resident, or to inhabit for a time, to live in a place, to have a habitation for some time or permanence.

Abide: to be, or exist, to continue, to be, to dwell, rest, continue, stand firm, or be stationary indefinitely.

As I thought about it, I realized that I hadn’t abided under the shadow of the Almighty.

So, how do we abide under El Shaddai? As I pondered this, it doesn’t mean a physical place to stay, but it is our mental state.

After analyzing my mental state, I realized that my anxiousness and stress are due to my thoughts. Mental conversations I have allowed to take space in my mind affected my emotions and ultimately called me out of abiding in PEACE.

These thoughts have been very lofty, towering skyscrapers in a city that grew larger as I continued the one-way street, leading to more heartache. Instead of applying what I know to do: 2 Corinthians 10:4-6.

The New English Translation read this: “for the weapons of our warfare are not human weapons but are made powerful by God for tearing down strongholds. We tear down arguments and every arrogant obstacle that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to make it obey Christ.

Who accuses? If you are familiar with the Bible’s texts, you would know that the accuser is satan. You would also know that our enemy isn’t people, per se. We find in Ephesians 6:10, the Passion Translation, that we fight against the evil strategies of the accuser. Our hand-to-hand combat is not with human beings but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms.  

As I have said several times in my writings, when we act in a way that is not our everyday behavior, out of character, we need to pull back and see what string the enemy (puppetmaster) has snared us with.  

He uses many different stings of offense, fear, bitterness, jealousy, pride, and so on.

In this particular situation, I can now see that it wasn’t just one string of offense but multiple strings: fear, pride, and assumption. Pulling one after the other, it wasn’t long before I felt exhausted.

My lofty thoughts and assumptions rose above what I have learned in scripture. My flesh wanted vindication, and my heart had turned dark and cold. My flesh wanted to speak, and I could hear the Holy Spirit tell me to stop every time I started. However, I choose to continue talking about this situation to others.

Luckily, the Father kept me from lashing out at the person I was most upset with, which would have complicated the situation.  

Taking the time to look at myself, I realized that the Lord wanted to take me from a place of immaturity to the fullness of maturity. He desires me to walk in total wholeness and free from offense, burdens, and lies to fully and ultimately love as He does.

I am a work in progress and not there yet.

Looking at myself, I realized what I needed to do and went before the Lord to show him my dark, cold heart. As I did, the fire of wrath within me started to die, and my body started to rest.

I could feel the pressure of carrying this offense lift off of me. But as I did, I felt exhausted and noticed that symptoms of infection were taking place in my body.

How can this sickness hit me so quickly, Lord? I asked Him. These words dropped in my heart: I kept telling you to let go of the offense. Your body is still healing, and it takes energy to heal. And you have chosen to use your energy to feed the offense, and your body is tired.

After more days under the refiner’s fire, I realized that my brilliantly created body had tried to communicate with me to rest for months. However, lies tied to my past and pride (mindsets) have kept me from hearing. I am so thankful for His mercy and grace given to me despite my ‘flesh.’        

My soul (mind, actions, emotions) has found peace this morning. I am okay because I am choosing to remember who I am and who HE is to me, my defender.

Walking through this, I know that it isn’t just seeing where I was wrong in my behavior and mindset but humbling myself and confessing my wrong to the Lord. Ask for forgiveness and cut those strings that the puppetmaster has used to alter my actions with The Blood-bought scissors. 

I type this all out, wanting to be honest and genuine with all of you. But to also ask, what about you?

Do you have thoughts and mental conversations that go against the Word of God? We should apply this question in all areas of our lives.

Answering that question requires us to be honest with ourselves and God. It takes stilling ourselves and not just identifying the wrong thinking or fleshy attitudes; we must ask God to forgive us. And we must be diligent not to get entangled in those “strings” again. 

Details of a flower.

Have you ever really looked at a flower? The detail in the petals alone can leave me in awe that Elohim (all-powerful Creator) would go into so much detail on a flower that stands tall for a short summer season.

It does not matter what it is, who it is, or what season it is; God enjoys seeing His creation open to its purpose, especially in humankind.

Have you ever thought about what God sees when we go walk through seasons? It does not matter about family lineage or economic status; we are all going through seasons. I am not speaking of the four seasons as a period of the year that distinguishes special climate conditions. 

Nor am I talking about the rough roads of hardship or the smooth paths, no struggles; I am talking about it all; our lives.

Even though we go through difficult times, joy can be felt, and love can be seen if we look in the right direction.

Valleys are sometimes hard to walk through; the mountains on each side limit the sun from shining on the valley floor. Traveling through this valley, one would miss the sun’s warmth and maybe even feel alone. Hearing sounds and seeing things that might not be heard or seen on the mountaintop could cause one to fear that they are in a foreign place and forgotten. 

I am going through a season that has me traveling that valley, and though I would rather be on the mountaintop, I can see things that I would not be able to see otherwise, up close and personal.

I once heard a well-known worship leader say, “Sure, we can pray that the mountain will be removed (Mark 11:23), but that doesn’t build trust.”

I remember going through one of those difficult times, not understanding why a door was open to me that had me in an environment that went against everything I believed. Crying out to the Lord about it, I heard Him ask me; Do you trust me?

I said, “Yes, Lord.”

That is all HE asked me. No explanation. No word of hope on the other side. No instructions on what I was to do. He just asked me if I trusted him.

I remember walking out that season doing what I do, being who I am. As I did, I kept my thoughts solidified in my heart that GOD sees me, and I know things will work out. I didn’t know how or when, but I TRUSTED the Lord that I would get to the other side. And God did! It was miraculous how the answers, not just to my prayers but prayers of others, laid out beautifully before me.

I am not saying that the valley doesn’t have those moments when I need to re-adjust my perspective. This week I have had to walk through a couple of pickery patches; it surprised me, and with each patch of sand burs, I had moments of fear grip me. But perfect LOVE (God) quickly shadowed me, and fear had let go of my heart.

I found Matthew 10:29-31 in the contemporary language of the Message encouraging.

“What’s the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you (Georgia) down to the last detail – even numbering the hairs on (your) head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk (or symptoms). You’re worth more than a million canaries. Parentheses mine

If, or when, we experience those seasons, you know, those seasons we would rather skip; we must remember that God cares about what is occurring to us. Don’t let what is happening at the moment keep you from knowing that God pays attention to every detail of your life.

The thrill of being on the mountaintop is coming to us valley walkers because we will get to the point where we start climbing the mountainside, all the time building trust that GOD is with us.    

Peace is a person, not a place.

Peace is a person, not a place.

Though the above picture does cause one to breathe deeply and find a moment of Peace, we have all heard the expression; don’t let “it” steal your Peace. The “it” differs for everyone, not a universal thing or circumstance.

No one is exempt from the valleys, where sunlight is not felt, but we know it shines. Walking through this valley, I am not going to lie; I have prayed that the mountain would be removed. And though things have miraculously improved, I am still in the valley. Like Papa God in His timing, I was at an event this past weekend where every speaker spoke of trusting GOD in those valleys and relying entirely on Holy Spirit.

I will not lie; fear and anxiety have gripped me, but to deny my feelings isn’t being strong or courageous. I have learned that denying my emotions is my way of self-protecting, and in reality, it is nothing that I can lean on when life gets hard.

Denying my emotion makes it hard to align them with God’s word. Acknowledge my feelings, and ask God what lie I believe and where the root comes from. Once I have done that, then I can exchange it for truth.

The first of the year, I heard these words drop in my heart: Georgia, I want you to step out of the boat. I have been taking one step at a time, not knowing where I am going. But the Lord has had me on a path of inner healing. Indeed I have Christianized my response to life’s disappointments, grief, bitterness, or even anger.

“It’s all good.”

“I give it to you, Lord.”

I now see those responses as denial, and I honestly thought I was being spiritual about it. I am so thankful for God’s mercy and grace: new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). I am on a journey of healing, mind, soul, and body. My spirit is being ministered to by Holy Spirit. 

I have been told to follow the Peace; it’s a new level of trust, keeping my eyes on the THRONE, yet being honest with my emotions and giving them to God. I need to learn to be still and honestly give him my tears. This scripture was dropped in my heart as I made the exchange this morning:

Georgia, do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the Peace of God transcends all (my) understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Jesus is called the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). Peace is a person, not a place, and I hold onto HIS hand as I walk this out.

“It isn’t enough to talk about Peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” -Eleanor Roosevelt.