As I am working through some things of my past and talking with family members that I hold close to my heart, God has been showing me things, and I am gaining greater understanding.
Looking at some of my behaviors when I am in different groups of people (either family, friends, or just people in general) I will start to ‘feel’ a certain way. I may or may not say anything but I am unknowingly releasing something in the atmosphere. Generally, if I have joy or peace I am very much aware that I release joy and peace and I believe that God is using me for that purpose.
However, what I did not realize is that it works both ways. No, that isn’t true. I did know, but just not conscious of the power behind it. I don’t stop and recognize what kind of spirit is making me feel a certain way (so to speak). When I feel that I am being judged, have insecurity and have self-doubt, it is released to those around me. I am so busy in my head having a negative dialog that I am not even aware of my standoffish behavior, or even the expressions that I have on my face (those of you who are close to me know that I am very animated). Instead of ‘peace’ I am releasing ‘fear’, instead of ‘happiness’ I might release ‘disappointment’ etc…
God showed me two specific examples of this within the last couple of days and without going into too much detail I will just say this; As a parent (doesn’t matter if children are very young or adults) we need to be aware of this. Our children are a part of us, even though they are separate individuals they are still a part of us, so if we are battling with something (self-value, fear etc…) our children do. It may not be in any ‘big’ way in their everyday life, it might just be when they are around us. We all know our children feel the emotions we feel. When my children were young I could not be sad around them, if shed the slightest tear they would become sad too and start to cry. As adults they might not cry if I am around them when I am sad, but trust me, they sense the sadness and it grieves them.
We must check within ourselves what we are walking in, fear, guilt or freedom and victory. Also, we need to define the emotions we are feeling or those our children are feeling. Disappointment isn’t anger, excitement is not anxiety, and sometimes we can even project the wrong emotion to our those around us. I know it was hard for me to hear anyone get loud with their words; I would always divert to when I was a child and assume the person talking loud is angry. And I ‘react’ on the defense, rather than ‘interact’ with assurance that I am okay.
I hope this makes sense to you. I just want to share with you what was revealed to me by our loving Father, and pray it sheds light on some areas of your own life as it has on mine. Know we are all on a journey of understanding, and it is okay. Be blessed