Searching for the purposes that God has designed me for has been like following cookie crumbs on the ground. I walk in circles looking at each crumb, I analyze it, and try to figure out what type of cookie it might have come from. Eventually, by me ‘over analyzing’ I end up crushing all the crumbs to a dust under my feet, which is then swept away by the slightest breeze.
I have all kinds of different jobs over the years. I truly believe that God has purposely placed me in each to teach me something. Though, at one time I used to think it was about ‘job titles.’ However I’ve learned that a title is just a title and that my identity is not in the work I do, but in who I am.
It has only been the past 4-5 years, though, that I have tried to look within my job (daily tasks) to find something only I can uniquely add to it. This is how I have tried to find my purpose, but isn’t there something more? Haven’t I been designed for specific things that only I (Georgia Barnes) have been assigned to do?
A line in the book ‘48 days To The Work You Love’ by Dan Miller reads; “Consider the possibility that your dreams and desires are the voice of your soul, and God’s voice within you, longing for expression through your faith in action.”
Is God waiting for me to act?
With this thought, I prayed before a small surgical procedure I was about to have. I wanted God to speak to me, to tell me what He has called me to do. I was really looking forward to having a conversation with God as the anesthesiologist was administering the anesthetics. However, before I knew it, I was in the recovery room hearing the words of the sweet post op nurse.
‘Is it really over already? Did you speak to me God?’ These were the questions I had asked as the nurse left my side to make me some ‘strong’ coffee- per my request. Shortly after that I was home lying down on the couch in and out of sleep the rest of the day. And that is when I heard God say; ‘Georgia, I’ve been talking to you all along. What is it that makes your heart sing praises to me? What type of people has your heart been drawn too? These are the areas of ministry that I have called you to. Now use your own special uniqueness and do it.’
As I reflect back over the past few weeks, I realize, that the people that have crossed my path have a common thread woven in them. One way or another ‘adoption’ has been a part of their lives. Either it is an adult child looking for their birth mom, or they are a birth mom themselves. Women whom have placed their child in adoption for different reasons all seem to have a heaviness of guilt on them. I know because that was me. I also have a heart for those children that are looking for their birth moms. It was a few years back but I remembered that I actually went to a small conference and the guest speaker was the well-known Arthur and speaker Sherrie Eldridge talking about adoption. I didn’t even know why I was led there and truthfully I’ve discarded the whole thing even though at the time, it impact me in a big way.
On that day Mrs. Eldridge asking several questions to see what type of audience she had but she never asked the question that I could raise my hand. She asked if there were people there that day that wanted to adopt, or have adopted, or even if there were adoptees (any age) in her audience. But she never asked if there were birth moms in the audience, at the break I quietly went to her and told that I didn’t raise my hand because she never asked the question that I could identify with. Before I knew it she had called me to come up front and to say a few words. Oh my goodness, I remember asking myself; ‘what do I say to all those people that came to see her?’ I was terrified; however I was moved to speak specifically to the adoptees, as if I was the voice of their birth moms. I don’t recall all that I said but I know it was from my heart. And afterward I was so touched on how they (the adoptees) were drawn to me, it was as if I was speaking to each of them personally.
Remembering all these things and applying some purpose thought to identify my skills, abilities, personality traits, and passions. I know I am on my way to finding my purpose and The Job Love.