I refuse to feel sorry for myself!

I got up this morning in hopes that I could get my computer laptop working. It has been a long week-end which started Friday morning. My husband and I had taken the day off to get ahead start on moving our daughter into her first apartment in Michigan, about three and half hours away.

On Friday Bob had to go into work, even though he took the day off, to remove snow at the school parking lots so I decided to get up with him at 2:00 in the morning. I figured I would have a big chunk of time for writing; I am working on a project that actually has a deadline.

I was able to make excellent progress; I would say that I was 75% done when Bob came home around 10:00. So I decided to stop and go over what the game plan was for the week end. I also wanted to get the house cleaned up and my laundry done before we left because I didn’t know when we would get back home.

That is when the spinning started up. I have been having problems with dizziness for a little while now and the doctor had just given me motion sickness pills to take every six hours as needed. So here I go again, the spinning ride that I didn’t want to go on. I was so upset, I wanted to get so much stuff done, but there I was lying in the bed hoping that this spinning would stop. I did my little tricks to help it go away, drink salt water (not a lot of salt, just a little in my water) I tried eating crackers, I tried sitting up in a very slow motion and maybe I could just ‘reset’ my brain or something. WHO knows? After a couple of hours I was feeling better and started to kick it in gear and got some of my chores done before we left.

As we were packing up the car for our trip I decided to take my computer. I thought maybe I could get some more time in on my project and finish it. Mind you my computer was acting up on Friday but I didn’t think much of it.

We got to the farm, step one of the week end. Our plan was to get there and finish loading the trailer with the boxes that Ashley had at the farm when she was staying with Grandpa. But about two hours into our evening I started to get dizzy again. The rest of the night was shot; I just feel asleep on the couch and decided to give into the spinning. I didn’t have the energy to push through it again.

Saturday morning I got up early and thought I would work on my project before anyone got up, but I couldn’t turn on my computer. As much as I tried it wouldn’t work. Oh well, I thought to myself, I guess I am not suppose to work on this now, it is about moving Ashley today so I just put it away.

Things were going pretty good, Ashley was very stressed but it was going well, until we started to look for a mattress for her. “Here mom, try this one,” Ashley said. As soon as I lowered myself down on the mattress the room was spinning again. Not this again, I thought. At least we got Ashley’s stuff moved into her apartment, the guys did most of the work, I just stood by the door and opened it when they needed. So the rest of the afternoon I had to either hold onto someone’s arm or move very slowly, and not look at anything moving.

Ashley and her boyfriend in his truck and Bob and I in the car we all pulled back into the driveway at the farm about 6:30pm. Bob had gotten several calls from his boss about snow removal at the school so we had to drive back to Indiana yet that night. The whole drive home I slept, which I don’t ever do. I usually try to stay up and make conversation with Bob to keep him awake.

We pulled in the driveway, got all the stuff in the house and went to bed. Bob was extremely tired and physically sore from the move, Ashley’s apartment is on the second floor. Bob had to get up and go into the school Sunday morning for snow removal again. They didn’t get any snow in Michigan where we were but here in Indiana we had gotten about 8 inches at the house and I guess about 12 inches at the school.

So again, I thought perfect time for me to get some more writing done, maybe even finish the project.

Well, I guess not. My computer again will not turn on; I tried several times with no success. Trying hard not to cry and feel sorry for myself I decided that I had other things that I needed to do.

I got all the Christmas things put away and finished up on the laundry and wanted to vacuum the floor. Now vacuuming the floor is not a hard thing to do when you have a vacuum. We had given ours to Ashley so that she could save her money for other things, rent. So I thought, well, I will just use the shop vac that should work. No – didn’t work, filter needed replaced. Okay! I will just use our old rainbow that is out in the garage that we use for the car. Well… couldn’t find the attachments, to be completely honest that vacuum has moved with us so many times I am surprised that we even have it. Only thing left was the dust buster. So there I was on my hands and knees trying to vacuum the floor with it.

As I thought about my week end I just wanted to cry, it seemed that everything that I was trying to do wasn’t working out. I wasn’t feel good and I wanted to get so much done.

I told myself, I am not going to get mad or even feel sorry for myself! I will keep praising God for all my blessings! And then I stated list them off, out loud, all the things HE has blessed me with this week end. To be completely honest I am still disappointed about my computer, but what am I going to do about it now – Nothing.

But one thing I can say, I am thankful for my Lord God. By HIM showing me all my blessings I can be assured that He is still here with me protecting me. Things may not go as I plan, but I should be concern about HIS plan not mine, right? Maybe God wants me to just rest some more, and be ready for next week.  Things will work out on my project deadline, not really sure how, but know it will.

How about you? When things don’t go as planned or you feel as everything is against you, do you fall into a complaining spirit? Or do you even feel sorry for yourself? Try praising God, it doesn’t change your circumstances but it does change your attitude.

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