My Grocery Cart

I hope this entry finds all of you well. My husband and I have been in our new place here in Tennessee for 10 days now and I think at least our dogs are beginning to find a ‘rhythm.’ Though, for myself I feel a little clumsy as I maneuver through my day. I know the purposes that God has for me; however there is this inner struggle that keeps me anxious. As I went for a short run this morning I shared my questions with our Papa.

Side note: Running here is so much different than in Michigan. I am now training with the double “H’s” Hills and Heat!

These are the questions that seem to run through my head; what are you doing? Are you using your time wisely? What ‘things’ are you supposed to be doing? How much time does it take before you get back in the saddle (so to speak) and get a job? Who says you need a job? What is the definition of a ‘job?’ You say that if you had time to (fill in with your own answer) you would, well… you have time. These questions create confusion and anxiety within my soul. Feeling pressure that I am expected to ‘do’ something, I heard this question; who told you you’re supposed to ‘do’ something. That instantly reminded me a question that God asked Adam found in Genesis 3:11 “…Who told you that you were naked?”

Ahha! Now I know the source behind my anxiety. Why is it that when looking back it can be so obvious who the author of this turmoil was, but as I was having my ‘break down’ (so to speak) it was hard to see that it was a con designed by the con artist of all times, to create confusion and anxiety in my soul. Confusion is not one of God’s attributes (1 Corinthians 14:33) and HE defiantly does not want us to live with anxiety.

It is crazy that the first thing people ask when meeting a new person is; what do you do? Where do you work? I of course tell them that I work from home (my Nerium business). I then get this “oh I see” response. In my own assumption I believe they (those people who ask) would describe me as, not having a ‘job’ or a ‘title.’ But, I do have a ‘job’ (Matthew 28:19) and I do have a title; I am a child of God, a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9).

I have been freed so to speak. I am not on anyone else’s time schedule. My days were filled with being here at this time and being there at that. I needed to do ‘this’ for that person and ‘that’ for the other. I had to make sure I got ‘things’ done. BUT not anymore, and to tell you the truth it is a bit unnerving.

God showed me a vision months ago of me pushing a grocery cart “buggy” (as they say in Tennessee). It was filled so full that it was hard to push. Then HE told me; “don’t fill your cart up, I will do that for you.” After several months when I visited that vision, I saw myself pushing an empty grocery cart, with Jesus walking with me. I felt ridiculous pushing it down one aisle and up the next, wondering what people thought about me pushing this cart with nothing in it. Then one day I asked; “Papa are you going to put anything in my grocery cart?” So HE did, HE placed one (1) item in it. I had to laugh, because now I feel just as silly (if not more) pushing this huge grocery cart with one small item in it. I am learning to rest in this vision. God knows the call HE has placed on my life. He knows when and how I will walk in it. No explanations, no excuses, I need to just trust and walk in HIS peace, and I will as long as I remember these truths.

I guess I write all of this to first to solidify these things in my own heart, but I also want to encourage you. We need to really know ‘who’ we are, and ‘who’ we belong to. We get so pushed in our lives, but is that God’s design? We are to have an abundant life, but does that mean crazy schedules?

So, just as God has been saying to me, let me say to you. Don’t fill your ‘cart” up with lots of things, allow HIM to fill it, and don’t worry about what other people are saying, listen to God.

Know your title (Child of God) don’t let the ‘world’ define you (label you). We are all created with individual purpose(s) that only can be fulfilled per our individual calling.

Not to say that we achieve our ‘calling’ individually because what I have learned it takes a community of people working together to get things done.

Remember we can only walk in our purposes with God leading us each step of the way. So we must stay connected to HIM that has called us. We must learn to be okay with HIS timing. We need to be okay with asking for help from others, and we need to be okay not explaining ourselves to those who do not understand.

That’s all for now, remember to celebrate the diamonds (positives) in your day, and keep your eyes on HIM (Colossians 3:1)

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